We're both still floating on cloud nine, or i am, although almost asleep here as well, we are just getting over the wonderful 60th anniversary party our family put on for us last night.
Many of our friends and even some relatives came from near and far. It was a delight to see everyone. Mac actually enjoyed the evening only problem was one time when he couldn't see me, I was dancing at the time. But friends and family stayed with him throughout most of the night some of whom he really did recognize...at one point just as our friend Klaus was leaving Mac said, "you know I thought to myself - I recognize that face and now I really do, you are Klaus Minde"...he repeated this a couple of times and seemed so surprised and happy with himself. So I realize for those many times he says, hmmm yes I know that name or face, he probably doesn't as one could see he was so excited to really know Klaus, then he said, of course it's so long since we have been together...well that's again the fact that the long time is his memory loss. Today I asked if he remembered the party ..well no - not really said Mac. Should point out that he always knows our great grandbaby Finley; who was the star of the party.
So again his thoughts are the long time where he thinks we've been apart..and always the happy thought that - wow how lucky we got back together. One of the anniversary gifts we received was a saying within a frame - the saying was: "And they lived happily ever after" this seems to encapsulate Mac's feelings - we are now happily together after so long a time apart; it is sad and awful when one really thinks about it that he doesn't remembe all the happy times we've had over the past 60 years; but we honestly are living happily ever after. For how long; well that is not for us to know.
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Friday, 6 July 2012
Friday, July 6, 2012 The memory well
This morning at breakfast it seemed like Mac's memory well has filled up so much it's hard to remember which story to tell first. I think it started with his saying the trains used to run by his house, which was on the laporte corner of Richilieu...at that time and there is a hill and at the top of the hill was where the trains went by. Well apparently the teenage kids in the gang he hung out with, would sneak over the fence and get some track bombs. Later they would set them on the streetcar tracks, then sitting happily in the park on the St. Antoine between Agnes and laporte Streets, they would all roar with laughter - watching the poor conductor and the passengers on the street car go into hysterics as the streetcar would go over the bombs and set them off.
I said that gang of yours had a crazy sense of humour..right agreed Mac, but it was kind of fun, and he said it was also funny when one of the gang, Joe, who was near sighted, wouldn't wear glasses - he wanted to look cool for the girls, anyway, Joe would come through the park to join us continued Mac - and all the gang would stand up on the benches and start waving their arms and hankies saying o.k. Joe, here we are - this way o,k. turn right now left; Poor Joe would get wild, and yell J.C,. cut it out, damn you guys, etc. and that would get them all laughing - I do remember that gang and for sure they were crazy -but fun and most of them really did well when they matured. Certainly Mac did, although he and his closest friend Bob, were not quite as crazy but enjoyed the antics of the others.
And strange but interesting; his mind jumped to the days when his mom was ailing, and how she died...we didn't go into it too far, but we were married at that time. He mentioned how he went right away to his mom's house as did his sister Florence, they called the doctor; he found it strange but just like a woman, Florence wanted to chanage her mom's nightie and comb her hair to make her look good for the doctor. He remembered being so upset about that. And stranger still, not ten minutes after this story,Gail his neice phoned us from Fla. her mom was Florence who is no longer alive.
we certainly went back in time with Gail she wanted to wish us a happy anniversary as she will be missing our party..will have to go over the memories she had of us - it's amazing how much she remembers from 60 years ago when we were married..she was only 7 years old then.
But that's enough memories for tonight.
I said that gang of yours had a crazy sense of humour..right agreed Mac, but it was kind of fun, and he said it was also funny when one of the gang, Joe, who was near sighted, wouldn't wear glasses - he wanted to look cool for the girls, anyway, Joe would come through the park to join us continued Mac - and all the gang would stand up on the benches and start waving their arms and hankies saying o.k. Joe, here we are - this way o,k. turn right now left; Poor Joe would get wild, and yell J.C,. cut it out, damn you guys, etc. and that would get them all laughing - I do remember that gang and for sure they were crazy -but fun and most of them really did well when they matured. Certainly Mac did, although he and his closest friend Bob, were not quite as crazy but enjoyed the antics of the others.
And strange but interesting; his mind jumped to the days when his mom was ailing, and how she died...we didn't go into it too far, but we were married at that time. He mentioned how he went right away to his mom's house as did his sister Florence, they called the doctor; he found it strange but just like a woman, Florence wanted to chanage her mom's nightie and comb her hair to make her look good for the doctor. He remembered being so upset about that. And stranger still, not ten minutes after this story,Gail his neice phoned us from Fla. her mom was Florence who is no longer alive.
we certainly went back in time with Gail she wanted to wish us a happy anniversary as she will be missing our party..will have to go over the memories she had of us - it's amazing how much she remembers from 60 years ago when we were married..she was only 7 years old then.
But that's enough memories for tonight.
Thursday, 5 July 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012 This is all NONSENSE
Well when i look at the spelling of nonsense, it is clear that it means makes no sense, that is precisely how mac felt the interview he had with our doctor today should be labelled. NONSENSE. I could understand just how he felt, he had to take the test for his memory, this is an ongoing test which has to be given every year in order for Mac to obtain the necessary medication - in his case Aricept - through medicare.
The test asks very simple questions, i.e what day is it today, where are you right now, what street are we on...what is the date, what is the season. etc. in the past Mac would just lope through these questions, his score would be almost perfect, BUT, the doctor knew he had Alzheimers from other tests, a kind of assessment which eliminates other possible causes for his behaviour plus neuroloical testing. Anyway, mac could NOT answer some of the questions, and then refused to answer but with the doctor's persistence and patience mac did answer and though he didn't score high, his score was not too low. BUT, he wanted to go home, 1. because the tests were all nonsense, and 2. because he has had falls and should try a cane -according to the doc. and 3. he had to have another kind of meds possibly that would be a patch...and 4. because he has to see how he is without aricept for 2 wks.
Of course who is to blame for this business of having to go to the doctor in the first place. well of course - it is ME...so mac gave me all kinds of black glowering looks, and told me he would speak to me later and i would regret this etc. He was uncooperative and unresponsive all the way home in the car with leslie my son and myself...at home he sat in his chair and closed his eyes...no lunch..he didn't want to speak to anyone that could condone the nonsense he had gone through. BUT, later in the day, a ray of light came in to the house, our wonderful Great Grand child Finley, who just loves Great Grand Mac, and he loves her - her 6 month old charms worked wonders...and by dinner time, he had forgotten the nonsense part of the day.
I reminded him of his behaviour, how he doesn't want to ever see that doctor again, and he just couldn't believe he said that. So all is well - he said he was so sorry, what was he thinking, and certainly he knows he can't remember a thing, so of course he MAY try a cane, and of course he will take his meds and of course it's not nonsense. So endeth another day in the life of my sweet husband MAC.
The test asks very simple questions, i.e what day is it today, where are you right now, what street are we on...what is the date, what is the season. etc. in the past Mac would just lope through these questions, his score would be almost perfect, BUT, the doctor knew he had Alzheimers from other tests, a kind of assessment which eliminates other possible causes for his behaviour plus neuroloical testing. Anyway, mac could NOT answer some of the questions, and then refused to answer but with the doctor's persistence and patience mac did answer and though he didn't score high, his score was not too low. BUT, he wanted to go home, 1. because the tests were all nonsense, and 2. because he has had falls and should try a cane -according to the doc. and 3. he had to have another kind of meds possibly that would be a patch...and 4. because he has to see how he is without aricept for 2 wks.
Of course who is to blame for this business of having to go to the doctor in the first place. well of course - it is ME...so mac gave me all kinds of black glowering looks, and told me he would speak to me later and i would regret this etc. He was uncooperative and unresponsive all the way home in the car with leslie my son and myself...at home he sat in his chair and closed his eyes...no lunch..he didn't want to speak to anyone that could condone the nonsense he had gone through. BUT, later in the day, a ray of light came in to the house, our wonderful Great Grand child Finley, who just loves Great Grand Mac, and he loves her - her 6 month old charms worked wonders...and by dinner time, he had forgotten the nonsense part of the day.
I reminded him of his behaviour, how he doesn't want to ever see that doctor again, and he just couldn't believe he said that. So all is well - he said he was so sorry, what was he thinking, and certainly he knows he can't remember a thing, so of course he MAY try a cane, and of course he will take his meds and of course it's not nonsense. So endeth another day in the life of my sweet husband MAC.
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 happy independence day u.s.a.
For those who are celebrating the 4th. hope the huge rain storm we got didn't rain on your parade...apparently it did rain on a festival parade in downtown montreal.
Mentioned the celebration and fireworks etc in the U.S. to Mac, somehow it didn't ring a bell - these special days and what they mean used to bring some reaction either to the day or the reason for celebrating Canada Day, or St. jean Baptiste - in fact anything related to politics is not a big subject any more. Although Mac rarely misses the news every night - he seems to be more interested in personal stories, i.e. those that are concerned with kidnapping, or murder, whereas, those stories were put on the back burner in the past, and the politics of the day were the main reason for watching the news. Now interest in any story is good, and helps to make the day interesting for him and of course for myself.
So I am choosing movies with a one thread story line..anything that has too many characters, or too many side stories are out....those are the sleepers. This is a big change, and so when I now say, o.k. this was the kind of movie which was very simple and uninteresting in the past..o.k. he will like it now. Though, he did like some musicals, such as Brigadoon, Mary poppins ..so decided to show the movie Blue Skies, well kind of a sleeper for me, but we are now actually watching approximately one movie a week, which is a nice break as for over two years he has not watched anything other than news and train movies. Will look for others on the same idea -
He knows his memory is the pits, and at times seems to realize just how much he is missing, that is sad..and I commiserate with him - think this helps - we do not try to hide this from each other it's there. As far as his falling and at times feeling weak, we face this as well. Today he said, I think my days are numbered, this because he could not sit on the grass near the river, getting that low would cause too much of a problem for him. He could only stand and lean against the tree where we were - whereas, i was sitting on the grass easily - I really felt for him and just answered by saying, everyone's days are numbered, let's be happy we're still here.
As we walked past the place where we have put our names in for a 41/2 apt. we met a person who we know who lives there, she was pushing her walker along in the heat. I asked her how she was and did she still like the place. She answered 'very much so', then i asked if she uses the indoor pool , well apparently she doesn't swim..but that is one of reasons I like this place - so while our days may be numbered, we still have a choice, and we will certainly have to think on this. to move or not to move. And just what are our choices.
Mentioned the celebration and fireworks etc in the U.S. to Mac, somehow it didn't ring a bell - these special days and what they mean used to bring some reaction either to the day or the reason for celebrating Canada Day, or St. jean Baptiste - in fact anything related to politics is not a big subject any more. Although Mac rarely misses the news every night - he seems to be more interested in personal stories, i.e. those that are concerned with kidnapping, or murder, whereas, those stories were put on the back burner in the past, and the politics of the day were the main reason for watching the news. Now interest in any story is good, and helps to make the day interesting for him and of course for myself.
So I am choosing movies with a one thread story line..anything that has too many characters, or too many side stories are out....those are the sleepers. This is a big change, and so when I now say, o.k. this was the kind of movie which was very simple and uninteresting in the past..o.k. he will like it now. Though, he did like some musicals, such as Brigadoon, Mary poppins ..so decided to show the movie Blue Skies, well kind of a sleeper for me, but we are now actually watching approximately one movie a week, which is a nice break as for over two years he has not watched anything other than news and train movies. Will look for others on the same idea -
He knows his memory is the pits, and at times seems to realize just how much he is missing, that is sad..and I commiserate with him - think this helps - we do not try to hide this from each other it's there. As far as his falling and at times feeling weak, we face this as well. Today he said, I think my days are numbered, this because he could not sit on the grass near the river, getting that low would cause too much of a problem for him. He could only stand and lean against the tree where we were - whereas, i was sitting on the grass easily - I really felt for him and just answered by saying, everyone's days are numbered, let's be happy we're still here.
As we walked past the place where we have put our names in for a 41/2 apt. we met a person who we know who lives there, she was pushing her walker along in the heat. I asked her how she was and did she still like the place. She answered 'very much so', then i asked if she uses the indoor pool , well apparently she doesn't swim..but that is one of reasons I like this place - so while our days may be numbered, we still have a choice, and we will certainly have to think on this. to move or not to move. And just what are our choices.
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012 Appreciation Day
Just when I thought the memory well had run dry, Mac was relating all kinds of memories over his breakfast this a.m. It started first with his litany of our children and their names, Leslie, Gaye, Valerie, Glenna and Maureen, in that order. This time he said, i say their names all the time, but it's hard for me to see their faces, but I know we have good kids. We're lucky a good family, i see a big gang somewhere. I said, maybe it's all the family our children and their children...yes probably he replied. I said we usually see all of them on birthdays. mac continued with Yes and i see the pictures of my family, they are long gone. My sisters, and my brother. Your mom and dad, they are gone too.."
Then he said, "but we saw the little baby yesterday. ( Good a recent memory. ) I reminded him that little baby was Finley..Oh yes, Finley, she is wonderful, said Mac, yesterday, she smiled and smiled and laughed. All I have to say is Hellooo .. now whose baby is she..." She is Brianna's baby, remember Brianna is Valerie's daughter, and our grandchild. ...well maybe a little complicated, but he said 'right'...and that baby is terrific.
.These days (although rather sad for me) that he always thinks we have been apart, and then how wonderful that we are back together. It somehow makes it something he just appreciates so much. For example he thinks i work so hard, he loves me so much for that and for what I do...He is happy for the most part and rarely complains.
Although he is never sure just what's going on, and especially in the night, ....are we alone, are we in our own house and how many are we...are the questions he asks - then he settles down and sleeps soundly.
Today our support group met for a picnic in the park, ; Alheimers is such big part in our lives, we share our thoughts and for this and for my happy husband I appreciate.
Then he said, "but we saw the little baby yesterday. ( Good a recent memory. ) I reminded him that little baby was Finley..Oh yes, Finley, she is wonderful, said Mac, yesterday, she smiled and smiled and laughed. All I have to say is Hellooo .. now whose baby is she..." She is Brianna's baby, remember Brianna is Valerie's daughter, and our grandchild. ...well maybe a little complicated, but he said 'right'...and that baby is terrific.
.These days (although rather sad for me) that he always thinks we have been apart, and then how wonderful that we are back together. It somehow makes it something he just appreciates so much. For example he thinks i work so hard, he loves me so much for that and for what I do...He is happy for the most part and rarely complains.
Although he is never sure just what's going on, and especially in the night, ....are we alone, are we in our own house and how many are we...are the questions he asks - then he settles down and sleeps soundly.
Today our support group met for a picnic in the park, ; Alheimers is such big part in our lives, we share our thoughts and for this and for my happy husband I appreciate.
Monday, 2 July 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012 The day I found you
Right after we woke up this morning Mac turned to me and said, 'we're the only ones in this house eh? That's right, we are, i said - used to be you and I and five children, but they are married now - have their own children. Oh yes, but where did I find you, so i went throught the usual scenario. only laughingly said, you found me on the beach, Pine Beach in Dorval, with all the other pebbles on the beach' hmmm that's right, you tore your bathing suit...he loves thinking about that...and how he helped me. But then he added, after that we married ??? yes we did, then he said, and for such a long long time we were not together, so I'm really glad I found you again.
This is a constant refrain, the long time when we weren't together...but it always ends so happily - we are together and it makes me think of that old song. 'i bless the day i found you..and I surely do bless the day we found each other.
This is a constant refrain, the long time when we weren't together...but it always ends so happily - we are together and it makes me think of that old song. 'i bless the day i found you..and I surely do bless the day we found each other.
Sunday, 1 July 2012
Canada Day July 1, 2012
Although it's Canada Day, we didn't get to do anything patriotic, we didn't go to to the festivities in our own area..as they were being held at a football field, - no trees. What we did do though was enjoy the gem that we have in Chateauguay, which is Ile St. Bernard. a nature sanctuary -an apple orchard hiking trails -where lake St. louis, and the St. lawrence River meet , and super scenery. We sat on alpine chairs watching para sailing experts , dragon boaters, kyakers and just generally enjoying. On our way home, I was thinking how we hadn't heard a word of English all day, which isn't surprising as Chateauguayers are 70% French speaking; when who should be cycling towards us in the beautiful park area,(Parc La Commune) but our son Les and his wife Jane..So we chatted - so guess we did hear some English. But it is s lovely to hear French as for me it is the third most beautiful language, italian, Spanish and French in that order...
But this is a blog about macs memory and walking seems to bring many memories to Mac and I but actually it was early this morning when we were talking about our grandaughter Carlee's graduation from High School, Mac said, "I graduated" I said, not really, well yes from Sir George Williams - now Concordia. He said 'well I went to school in St. Henri." I couldn't remember the name but he did, Lewis Evans - and apparently according to Mac it closed right after he finished grade 7. He remembered the name and that it was on Richilieu St. but i reminded him that in high school apparently his main focus was playing hockey, and being a stick boy for the Montreal Royals and the Chicago Black Hawks when they were in town...and he only went as far as Grade 9. Later when we were married he took a mature entry test or something to see if he could go to University..and we both remembered he passed with marks that were so stunning- we were both shocked. Right said Mac so I graduated? Yes you did, I said, and at that time you had become a father for the fourth time, Glenna was only about eight months old. Oh said Mac, oh well - but I did.graduate..well for sure you certainly did.
Must get back to him re; the hockey focus, as I know he was so keen and met so many hockey greats at that time, as well, his favorite cousin Russell McConnell was an all star hockey player for McGill .
Well must look at Canada's history tonight on t.v. and think about Mac's history later.
But this is a blog about macs memory and walking seems to bring many memories to Mac and I but actually it was early this morning when we were talking about our grandaughter Carlee's graduation from High School, Mac said, "I graduated" I said, not really, well yes from Sir George Williams - now Concordia. He said 'well I went to school in St. Henri." I couldn't remember the name but he did, Lewis Evans - and apparently according to Mac it closed right after he finished grade 7. He remembered the name and that it was on Richilieu St. but i reminded him that in high school apparently his main focus was playing hockey, and being a stick boy for the Montreal Royals and the Chicago Black Hawks when they were in town...and he only went as far as Grade 9. Later when we were married he took a mature entry test or something to see if he could go to University..and we both remembered he passed with marks that were so stunning- we were both shocked. Right said Mac so I graduated? Yes you did, I said, and at that time you had become a father for the fourth time, Glenna was only about eight months old. Oh said Mac, oh well - but I did.graduate..well for sure you certainly did.
Must get back to him re; the hockey focus, as I know he was so keen and met so many hockey greats at that time, as well, his favorite cousin Russell McConnell was an all star hockey player for McGill .
Well must look at Canada's history tonight on t.v. and think about Mac's history later.
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